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Hear ye! Hear ye! Gather round, fair maidens, brave knights and jesters of all shapes and sizes. Prepare yourselves for all the righteous revelry of the Middle Ages, minus the black plague and with much less chance of being executed for being a witch. If you’ve ever fantasized about staying in a castle, but didn’t feel like giving up TV, room service or indoor plumbing, Excalibur is the ideal mix of modern convenience and seventh century style. Have a few wee ones you’d love to take on vacation before it’s time to kick them out of the castle? Excalibur is the perfect place for a family getaway. Let your kids, and yourself, go wild playing arcade and all other sorts of games in the Fun Dungeon – the most fun you can have in a dungeon without being the dungeon master. The pool area has a waterslide. (Note: Waterslide is probably not historically accurate.) And the Tournament of Kings, a show fit for royalty, or anyone who’s a fan of jousting, will enthrall fans of all ages. Once the kids have gone to bed, the adults can indulge in the naughtier side of nightlife with Thunder From Down Under, a raucous adventure full of the hottest men of the Outback stripping down to their knickers for your enjoyment. If the biggest reason you want to rule a kingdom is to see nearly naked men dance for your pleasure, then this is the show and the venue for you. And never let anyone tell you to rethink your priorities. Once you’ve worked up a medieval appetite from watching hunks dance and sword fight, or from doing whatever it is you choose to do in the dungeon, Excalibur has a variety of restaurants for you to slam your goblet on the table and demand more mutton. The Steakhouse at Camelot, a Zagat Award winner, prepares fine cuts of beef, fresh seafood and decadent desserts. Enjoy Old World hospitality and family-style service at the beloved Italian restaurant chain Buca di Beppo. A bountiful selection of small-batch comfort dishes abounds at The Buffet at Excalibur. And if you’re so over the royal treatment, head to the not so subtly named Dick’s Last Resort to savor a menu of pub grub complete with Macho Nachos, Mumbo Jumbo Chicky Wings and the Big Ass Burger all while tolerating the sarcastic staff who make you feel like a whelp being walloped for something you know you totally deserve. On the weekends an area dubbed “The Party Pit” features table games set near a stage topped with scantily clad dancing girls. And the 12-table poker room hosts a sexy “Strip Poker Tournament” on Saturday nights, where guests can watch a lovely lady remove items of her clothing on losing hands. But if you want something more romantic, have a fairytale wedding in full garb, or whatever you happen to be wearing when you decide to get married, at the Canterbury Wedding Chapel. For a family affair, or an affair of the medieval kind, Excalibur has excitement, extravagance and an extra helping of magic that will make you feel like you’ve been exported to a far off land. Really you’ll still be in Vegas, so you can easily take the monorail down to Luxor and Mandalay or walk across to New York New York. But Excalibur is all about embracing the fantasy. So live it up ye kings, queens and knaves. The glory of Excalibur awaits thee.